Definite Reasons Why You: 'Browned' out at Tailgate


You faintly remember even attending the actual tailgate.

Let's retrace the fuzzy swaying steps that brought you to this dehydrated, Taco Bell craving state.


8:34 AM


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Oh yeah, it's coming back now. You started off that morning playing a cool five games of beer pong while the pledges set up the tents. You obviously didn't care who won, but you did a damn good job holding teams of several randos.


11:00 AM


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Yup yup. It was you. . . those two other girls who were walking by, and then those four other people you intensely recruited for your team, the "One-Flip Wonders." You requested two foldable tables to be added to the existing four. The game possibly ended when you were distracted by your roommates mom?





"HELL YEAH, MRS. D!" is what you shouted when your roommates' mom offered you four jello shots she 'spent all morning making'. She really insisted you take them all right now and told you how cute you were and how excited she was to hang out with all these fraternity boys. You downed your jello shots and saw something legendary you never would forget. No matter how much vodka.




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There she was. Your house mom. Just killing a double loaded beer bong faster than that time she wrote you up for carrying a glass bottle of Taaka through the Fall Rush Party. Yeah, you didn't even know they made a glass Taaka bottle either. When she finished, you challenged her in a race. You lost.




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This is the last picture in your phone that you can actually make sense of. The other pictures are too blurry, accidentally taken or black from your phone cracking. Reminder. Call Dad and tell him you dropped your phone down the library stairs. 




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You were tagged in this picture on Instagram. You faintly remember saying that you 'never do' this but someone insisted that, "IT'S TAILGATE!" I guess you gave in...




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bama drunk united tees blog
bama drunk united tees blog


Where's the nearest Taco Bell?


PS: Here's your Game Day Shirt for next weekend. You ruined yours.

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